Monday, March 28, 2011

Confession

The people that happen to read this are probably wondering why such a long silence.  I could say it is because my extremely busy schedule, or I was fasting from the internet or some other lame excuse, but ask my mom, she can tell you none of that is true.  I have been thinking about why I haven't written.  The best answer I have is that I am lazy.

I am lazy for a lot of different reasons.  A few weeks ago I started to get burnt out on so much.  I was trying so hard to live "right".  To read my Bible, to study, to get my homework done.  It was good for a while, but like anything else I have ever attempted on my own, it lost its flame. Once that flame was gone I had nothing to lean back on.  I had not been seeking help from God. I wanted to do it on my own. So I stopped reading, stopped writing, stopped what I had been doing.  I had nothing to write because I was not studying, but also because I was living a life of sin and not a life dependent on God.  I understood I had nothing on my own to give. 

I am spiritually lazy.  I work hard for a short amount of time, but forget to rely on God.  Maybe one of these days I will truly realize I need to give ALL of my life to God.

1 comment:

  1. Well, I'm pretty sure the "spiritually lazy" club is bigger than any of us would like to admit ... unfortunately. And, yes, I will vouch for you in your laziness! However, I then have to admit that I have the same struggles. I'm sure most of us reading your post can relate. As Aunt Elaine said, "pretty sure you got all 10 toes!"

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